That's a deep and beautiful desire. Wanting to return to Hashem (Teshuvah) is itself a holy spark and the first step to becoming a new person. Making it real inside means more than behavior change; it means reshaping your inner world — thoughts, feelings, and connection.
Here's a comprehensive roadmap blending Ran's teachings with classic Torah sources and practical steps:
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1. Recognize Teshuvah Is Always Possible
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No matter what happened, the path is open:
"Ein davar omeid bifnei haTeshuvah" (nothing stands in the way of Teshuvah — Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah 3:14).
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Ran says: God made Teshuvah simple to remove excuses. That means you don't need perfection first; you need sincerity.
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Internalize this: Hashem wants you back more than you want to come back. This thought softens guilt and opens the heart.
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2. Build Deep Awareness of Hashem's Love
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The Zohar says: "At the place where ba'alei teshuvah stand, even the perfectly righteous cannot stand."
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Why? Because your yearning pulls infinite light — every moment you turn is a cosmic shift.
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Practical tool: Say this line to yourself daily:
"Hashem loves me right now, and my return brings Him nachas ruach (pleasure)."
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3. Make It Real Emotionally
Ran stresses that sin becomes bitter and closeness sweet. How to create this shift?
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Learn: Read chapters in Mesilat Yesharim about purpose and G-d's kindness. Awareness fuels emotion.
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Meditate for 5 min daily: Picture Hashem's light filling your life; picture yourself letting go of darkness and standing in His light.
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Speak out loud: "Hashem, I want to be close to You." The heart follows the tongue (Chazal).
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4. Do a Small, Real Act
The Ran says: Teshuvah is internal, but a physical act anchors it. Choose something:
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Stop one negative habit.
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Start one mitzvah (e.g., say Shema before bed, light a candle Friday night, put on tefillin once a day).
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The key: Make it realistic and consistent — this builds inner strength.
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5. Confession & Personal Dialogue (Vidui & Tefillah)
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Find a quiet place. Speak to Hashem in your language. Say:
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"I did wrong in X, Y, Z."
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"I regret it. It distanced me from You."
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"I want to come back. Help me stay strong."
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This isn't about formal words; it's a relationship talk.
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Even one tear, one sigh, changes spiritual worlds (see Rambam, Teshuvah 2:4).
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6. Keep Returning
Ran and Rambam both note: Teshuvah isn't one event; it's a lifestyle of return.
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Don't aim for "instant perfect." Aim for daily connection.
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Every day, ask: "How can I get one step closer to Hashem today?"
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Extra Tools to Make It Real Inside
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Learn Torah daily, even a little: Torah shines the neshama.
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Attach to positive people or shiurim: We become who we're around.
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Gratitude practice: Thank Hashem for 3 things each day. Gratitude awakens love.
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Music: Listen to Jewish niggunim (e.g., Breslov, Chabad) — they open the heart.
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Bottom line:
Teshuvah is returning to your essence. It's not just fixing; it's discovering
who you really are: a pure soul, always connected to Hashem
. Even the desire you just expressed is already a massive step. You're already walking back to Him.
👉 Do you want me to:
✅ Write a short personal prayer in Hebrew and English for your Teshuvah journey?
✅ Make a daily Teshuvah action plan (15-minute steps to build this inside you)?
✅ Or create a printable "Return to Hashem" guide with Ran's insights, Torah sources, and practical exercises?
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